By Glyndora Condon
Do good people get angry? Yes indeed. However, we are commanded to get angry but without sinning Ephesians 4:26. How does this work? How many become angry at cancer for destroying their bodies, livelihood, family, or life? Do we get angry as rights of others are violated, or when someone gets hurt? Did Jesus get angry of others who were abusing the house of God? Do you think Moses became angry as people mocked him? Anger is a necessary part of life, and is not absent with love. In fact, often it is love that a person has regarding others or things that leads to the need to control, and when our expectations do not go in One’s direction of choice, do we not feel anger? When we believe ourselves to be the Judge of the universe then aren’t we more likely to cast blame and to retaliate Romans 12: 17-21?
Some things that could anger us is the disregard of rules, the absence of respect, the disregard for our safety, the loss of sleep, or simply inconvenience. Other issues that can cause anger is when others are hurt. Some reasons are more righteous than others. We need to ask what exactly am I defending right now? Others, or my pride? Do we get angry only when our contributions are not recognized or are we as angry when others contributions go unnoticed as well? We need to check our thoughts to see if they are based upon truth or a distortion.
We listen to others excuse themselves with, “I was angry when I said or did that!” As if this resolves all of the pain and suffering. Ephesians 4:31 tells us to be in control of our anger. We are to let go bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander, and malice. Proverbs tells us to be slow to anger, Proverbs 29:11. “A fool gives full vent to his spirit but a wise man quietly holds it back” Proverbs 16:32. “Whoever slows to anger is better than the mighty…,” Proverbs 16:32. An angry person stirs up conflict,…increasing rebellion.” Proverbs 29:22. “A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs anger.” Proverbs 15:1. Good sense makes one slow to anger and it is his glory to overlook offense.” Proverbs 19:11.
Are we to roll over a play dead as others assault us? I do not believe that scripture teaches this and I know that counselors would not. We teach our clients to be mindful of one’s own boundaries while also respecting all others, as well as; assertive behavior to speak to the issues without violating others. We help with mindfulness and with radical forgiveness techniques to aid the client to let go of what they cannot and should not try to control, so that they are not engulfed in bitterness, resentment, or for the temporary release when we have our revenge; yet find that we now are dealing with further guilt and shame, or further bitterness and resentment since we still do not feel vindicated.
Should you believe that you are angry more than not, and that you cannot find peace, then come to Heal and Hope Counseling Services, LLC and learn the coping tools and be fed the spiritual foods that help enlighten us as to what it is that we truly are doing and how to exchange this with a loving anger which is controlled and redemptive; directing it towards the problem instead of the people with grace.