As a child, I required evidence per every demand or expectation of me that was going to limit me or hinder something I desired. My parents would quickly confirm that I was and am strong willed. A strong willed child that has been guided with respect and who owns a positive discipline /construct to be there own is a force to be reckoned with since this force will not easily be persuaded from their conviction. During the time that I was growing up, children were expected to obey their parents-simply because they said so. My sisters and brother had no problem with that concept yet here I was-with a mind to question and heart that sought for evidence so as to justify those expectations. Then, I was considered rebellious when in fact I was curious and inquisitive-trying to make my own mind up that directed my steps.
As you may have guessed-things were not calm and pleasant on the home front as we often butted heads with me being sent to my room. I am grateful that I also had a strong role model in my maternal grandmother who was wise beyond her formal education; a mother of 10, and herself strong willed. Perhaps she saw within me a bit of herself. She was strongly based in the Word of God, and lived it well. It was she who was more credited for my owning my Lord as my own Savior. Second was my adoration for my dad who was a Deacon and the Song Leader for the church. Basically he was an introvert yet was a dependable, easily stirred, kind hearted man with courage and strength that no one could deny if they new him. When he got onto the pulpit to lead singing, there stood a real man that I looked up to. My mother and me (both strong willed) would often view our world from different lenses. At my age then mine was more from "feelings and the need to make my own decisions" and hers was one of "authority and control" which often clashed with me.
I have provided several articles regarding many heartaches and struggles that was in my life found at: www.healhopecounseling.com and also on the Heal and Hope Counseling Services Facebook page; with others at the Christian Counselor Directory site-should you wish to read these. Please like and review us while you are visiting with us. These dark times, distortions of thoughts, and choices were based upon choices that were governed by FEELINGS more than evidence. Then during my journey in self healing-my education in psychology, and work with Christian counselors-I worked through the cognitive identification of distortions and then the reframing of these thoughts as I once again demanded evidence to support or to eradicate them. I returned to a faith based upon evidence-strong willed- and now a confident person in my adult life; unlike the more fragile person of my adolescence who feared rejection.
We teach this strategy to our clients so that they can be unstuck and empowered. I will not argue any conflict based upon opinion. I also have an opinion which is simply as good as others. People can argue all day and fight over opinions that are based on skewed fallacy of fairness, jumping to conclusions, and faulty interpretation or just based upon their feelings and beliefs-then get no where positive. It is fruitless and harmful as people who do not have facts will be influenced to believe in an opinion as if it was a fact. Feelings that drive choices often end badly-since feelings are often driven with distorted thoughts and beliefs. Neither opinions, feelings, or beliefs that are absent of substantiating facts and evidence will avail anything but conflict and harm.
Once I was a person who feared much and who hurt much but not today. You can have your opinions, feelings, and beliefs to which I am not impressed with, since I am not swayed by such. Those are whimsical and allot of noise to the heart and to the world. I seek facts and evidence, gleaning from wisdom and the lessons from history. Faith based upon evidence and truth is a solid and strong foundation that can keep one strong no matter what is going on around them. God is my strong hold and life line instead of anyone on this earth since I can depend upon Him being steadfast and unmovable while a storm is raging around me. That faith began when I was 9 years old and has lead me throughout many trials. But in the past that faith was divided with my fear driven feelings. Today, feelings have been set aside as wisdom now leads my steps. This is a much stronger and clear walk towards a just goal. Come walk with me.