By Glyndora Condon MS MFT LPC
Many apps today that our children are on romanticizes suicide as it calls our youth to attempt suicide to make a stand, to make others pay, to make others listen, to make others miss them or love them, to stop their own misery of feeling unworthy, and other like reasons. These apps romanticize the act and even provides examples. These apps have onlookers weeping and show the survivors idolizing the dead, worshipping the dead, and/or experiencing other sought after behavior or emotion that the victim desired and obsessed over while alive. As children who are so highly suggestive, with immature emotional and cognitive process ability then watch these depictions-they are drawn to a dark side that feeds their desire to be loved and accepted.
The finality is not addressed. The pain that takes hold as the bodily functions begin shutting down is not addressed. How others are traumatized with their loss of their loved one-sometimes taking years to overcome is not addressed. The facts of what death is for the body is not addressed (including what occurs for the body as it is prepared for burial) or what has to be done for the body to be cremated is not addressed. The fact that suicides are not covered under health insurance or life insurance claims-often leaving the family with added expenses is not provided. The emotion of anger that survivors have for the person who left them prematurely and for their own failures is not addressed. In fact there are many actual facts that are omitted as the darkness attempts to seduce others to it.
There are many motives behind suicidal attempts. Some is due to anger and the need to take vengeance. Some is to cry out for help and hope to be revived in time. Others is due to a feeling of hopelessness. A few think that the person that they feel dependent upon and mistake for love-will see how much they love that person if they attempt suicide; a tool to manipulate others to come back to them or to love them. When a app depicts these issues resolved with the act of suicide; then a person is deluded to believe that they will have control with this act.
There was a dark time of my life when I drew very close to ending my life. I was miserable and feeling worthless, believing that no one loved me, I had a plan and the way to commit suicide. I was operating from several distortions of thoughts that drove my need to feel loved yet my emptiness of believing that I was not loved, and not good enough to be loved. Had these apps been at my fingertips-then I most likely would not have been here today as a person full of hope and joy especially if I was not a Christian.
A person who is not a Christian would not have the added belief of eternal life somewhere and therefore would only have their world view to believe in-thus at higher risk to follow through with suicide.
I was a Christian which provided me the caution that I needed at the moment that could have been my last. I felt I had suffered enough and could not fathom doing anything that would mean that I would suffer for eternity...My feelings were based upon a self focus instead of God, which may could have lost my soul (I thought) and I did not want to risk that judgment. Two other thoughts came to me during that minute-"Wonder if I did not die but was rendered a vegetable-which would make me more of a burden to others?" That thought horrified me. The last was, "If I die then I will never be a mother which has been a life long dream of mine. One thing is for sure, dead people cannot have babies." Upon the three beliefs and needs: The need to not be a burden, the need to go to heaven, and the need to be a mother-then I decided to live. I then passed the curve that was on the cliff, and headed home. I survived. That was not enough though-I had to find value and purpose. I had to set goals and I had to learn how to persevere. God has taught me how- while providing me the opportunities to use my weakness and the lessons learned from them-to be strong in Him; while reaching out to others.
Today, I would not know still as to how God views suicide. Perhaps when it is fear and hopelessness; perhaps He would have mercy- but I am not a Judge. I do not know where these hurting people are today. I can only hope that they are at peace.
Therefore it is paramount for me to reach out to the mothers and fathers, to the adults who are deeply depressed or feeling out of control. Death is not a solution-it is an end. It is an end to hope of change. It is an end to relationships and love. It is an end of your life and there is no going back. As long as we are alive, then we can change us-not others. That change can open opportunities that we had not believed possible. There is hope with every breath we take. We can use our past and our weakness to strengthen us and to reach others. Death is not the answer and it is not the solution. It only stops this life and cuts off all hope. We implore you to cease romancing death and suicide with delusions and darkness. Cease feeding this darkness with those apps. Find a counselor like myself who understands and who can walk with you to a light full of hope.
